So this whole breastfeeding business is starting to suck...

I know it is really good for my baby and that is really the only reason I have lasted this long. Itty bitty is 14 weeks old today and she has only had breast milk. I've been back at work for 2 weeks now and I have really been struggling to find time to pump and when I do I don't seem to get all that much. So I drop her off at daycare about 8am and I usually nurse her before leaving, I try and go back on my lunch break and nurse her (but lets face it, I rarely get a lunch break) and then I pick her up about 6:30 (thank goodness she loves her babysitter...and it doesn't hurt that she is one of my best friends and her kids love itty bitty too!). During this time she seriously eats 20 - 22 ounces! Isn't that like a crazy amount?! It seems like it, maybe that is because I am actually only pumping about 10 - 12 ounces during this time. Yup, that's right about half of what she actually needs. I suck. Thank goodness I tried insanely hard to build up a freezer stash before going back to work.


I really REALLY thought I would be able to make it a year. But I am feeling so defeated. At this rate I am going to burn through my freezer stash in no time. Fortunately, I can usually end up pumping another 6 - 8 ounces between my pumping sessions when I first wake up and right before I go to bed. I really feel like this is ruling my life. AND...to make matters a little worse, now at night when itty bitty wakes up to eat around 3am she gets super cranky because it doesn't come out as fast and I think partially because she may not actually be able to get as much. This morning she nursed for a good 30 minutes...at 3 o'clock in the morning. Painful and exhausting. Ugh...hopefully I can make it at least another month and then once we start giving her baby food (which I decided to make...I hope I don't regret adding yet another responsibility to my plate) she will need less and I won't feel like completely consumed by this.

But if you're taking bets on how long I will last before giving her some formula...I'll take two weeks.